It comes in waves.

Lyrics to Look After You :
If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh,
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my Baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
After You
Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhh

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

You are so beautiful to me (repeat)

I DO MISS YOU.. :(

how 

can 

I 

move 

on 

when 

I'm 

still 

in 

love 

with 

you?

Moving On.

I was too blind to see it before.

But everythings' so clear to me now.

Now I know the best thing for me to do is move on and forget about you.

It may be the hardest thing to do but.. I just can't do this any longer.

Its NOT, okay.

I'm such a disappointment..

7 days left.

Mocks.

Exams.

Tests.

Grades.

Results.

Beat.

Die.

Die.

Die.

10 more papers left.

8 subjects.

6 hours of revision.

ah, the pain.

atleast I survived the first week.

Falling Apart.

Hurt is inevitable.

We are well aware of that. We jeopardize our heart on a daily basis with the ridiculous sins we commit and the moment of weakness that leads us on. And the hurt we feel, that excruciating, breathtaking, agonizing, painful hurt we feel, gives us absolutely no reason whatsoever to expose ourselves to the same pain.

Yet, we do it. Over and over again. Even when we know its coming, even when we feel it coming, we do it.

Hurt, when you see it coming, is inevitable.
Hurt, when you are blinded, is heartbreaking.

"And no matter how hard you try, you know it won't work"
"........"
"But don't worry, we'll be there when it happens"
"When what happens?"
"When you get hurt. We'll be there"

I'm falling apart 

I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart

That's still beating

In the pain

There is healing

In Your name

I find meaning

So I'm holding on (I'm still holdin on)

I'm holdin on (I'm still holdin on) 

I'm holdin on

I'm barely holding on to you

For All The Wrong Reasons.

I know. I know. I shouldn't have done what I did.

I shouldn't have done it. I know.

But if I hadn't done it, I wouldn't have known.

Wouldn't have known what you kept from me.

I thought you were different.

Turns out I was wrong.

Wrong all this time.

Now, I don't feel like I even know you anymore.

And I still know I shouldn't have done what I did.

But if I hadn't, things would have been different.

Normal, and I can't blame you.

I do though.

I do blame you for feeling that way.

I don't wanna be angry at you. 

But its too hard for me to see you.

Too hard for me to see what you're doing.

Too hard for me to accept who you're becoming.

Why couldn't you have just told me?

Why did you feel as if you couldn't let me know?

Why couldn't you just tell me?

Why?

Why??

WHY???

WHY????

its because of you i read it. because of you i accept it.

Dot Dot.

I am so not looking forward for school.

Well, maybe seeing my friends wouldn't be SO bad.

Ha ha. Hilarious.

>________<

*********

Im sorry for being so distant.

I don't know what's wrong with me. With us.

Everything's different now. 

I know you know it, I also know you don't want it to be this way.

Trust me, I wish it went back to the way it was.

Maybe it will.

Maybe.

If we wish hard enough, maybe.

But maybe even though how much we want it, we might not be able to stop it.

Maybe nothing will turn out the same again.

Maybe this is how its meant to be.

Maybe things wont change.

Maybe we can't fix it.

Maybe.

Just maybe. 

If we wish hard enough. 

Maybe.

Yesterday he said my eyes were fading fast away

I said well, what do you expect, you asked me not to stay

And if it all had been for the best

I wouldn't feel this way, oh he said, oh, he said

Apologies - Grace Potter & The Nocturnals

Jealousy && Paperclips.

OK.

I admit it.

I'm jealous.

SHE JUST CAME IN HERE AND NOW YOU'RE ALWAYS HANGING OUT WITH HER! WHY?!

IWASWITHYOUALLTHISTIMEANDNOWYOUJUST..ARGH.NEVERMIND!

FORGETIT.

Atleast I admit I am jealous.

"when I call you at night, its different. why does it seem like you dont care anymore?"

Feelings.

I FEEL SO..

WORRIED and..

Gross

FAT 

Urgh

Fugly

Crappy

Monsterous

Obese

Weird

Random

Un-funny

Crazy

Retarded

Yeah, those are the only words I could come up with for NOW ):

Blue.

I feel BLUE

Again. I know. Oh well.

Why is it that whenever I try to be really hyper

I always get a smack on the face and get pulled back down by gravity?

I love stories where the boyfriend has a thing for the best friend but this is just ridiculous.

The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction it HAS to make sense.

Reality Sucks! 

Listen.

"WELCOME TO THE DARK SIDE"

Ive gone emo.

Ive gone totally.

Ive gone crazyily.

Ive gone out.

Ive gone of.

Ive gone love.

Let me explain.

Yesterday, I was still stalking him.

Yesterday, I was so convinced he was my Edward.

Yesterday, I promised myself I wouldn't try so hard.

Yesterday, I still tried to stop stalking him-ended up going home TOGETHER.

Yesterday, I tried to take things slow for my ego.

Yesterday, I obsessed over him. again.

Yesterday, I got it out of my system about our difference in age.

Yesterday, I was crazily liking him.

Yesterday, I was still stalking him.

Today, I got crazily jealous and began to believe this is a BAD idea.

REASONS WHY I THINK ITS A BAD IDEA:

1. I dont want to get involved with anyone.

2. He doesn't know.

3. He does NOT need to know.

4. He's better off not knowing.

5. He probably likes someone else.

6. Worst case scenario-He probably has a girlfriend who he abandoned 3000miles @ home.

7. He probably has no feelings towards me.

8. He knows I exist but probably feels freaked I keep stalking him.

9. He probably gets annoyed by the fact I'm around wherever he is.

10. He probably likes _ _ _ _ _ _ / _ _ _ _ _ . 

That kind of SUCKS. big time. 

Wanderer.

For some reason, I keep thinking about this song today

Its stuck in my head, maybe coz its exactly how I'm feeling? i dunno.. I LOVE IT <3

BAD DAY 

Daniel Powter

Where is the moment we needed the most?

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

They tell me your blue skies fade to grey

They tell me your passion's gone away

And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low

You're faking a smile with the coffee to go

They tell me your life's been way off line

You're falling to pieces every time

And I don't need no carryin' on

CHORUS

'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know, you tell me don't lie

You work on a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day, the camera don't lie 

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday

The point is they laugh at what you say

And I don't need no carryin' on

CHORUS

Mmm, on a holiday

Sometimes the system goes on the blink

And the whole thing it turns out wrong

You might not make it back and you know

That you could be well oh thats strong

And I'm not wrong

So where was the passion when you need it the most

Oh you and I

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

CHORUS

You had a bad day, you see what you're like

And how does it feel a one more time?

You had a bad day

You had a bad day

Had a bad day

Had a bad day

Had a bad day

I hope this sticks to your head now..

Mwahaha *plans evil thoughts*

Dont you just get really jealous and HATE it if your friend [no matter how close / unclose she is to you] hangs out with the guy you like ALL day long? [even if he doesn't know you have a thing for him] 

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY

IT BUGS ME! :(

Its not my fault he's PERFECTION <3

Hey dont blame a girl for finding their Jacob okah? gimme a break, i dunno if he's my edward...YET!

Like I said, at the end of the day, im scared of being in love with the idea of being with him.. oh well

thats life..

SHIT HAPPENS